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Sex is never just about sex
Someone asked in a Facebook group what seems to be a straightforward question: Why are we excited by sex? We may be tempted to give a simple answer. Isn’t it just about our basic instinct and biological need? But such an answer ignores certain key facts about being human.
Have you looked at Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs? Very often, we think that sex is just a basic need, located at the bottom of Maslow’s pyramid. But if it were so, then we could have satisfied our sexual needs by ourselves. Through masturbation, we can achieve orgasm. Our bodies will release various hormones: dopamine, oxytocins, and endorphins. Wouldn’t it be the end of the story? Why would we need a partner then? We’d be self-sufficient.
But that would be a gross oversimplification. Masturbation would satisfy some of our needs. But would it be fulfilling? Would it make you feel elated? Would it make you feel special? Probably not. What is so exciting about being able to orgasm through masturbation? Anyone can masturbate.
What most people fail to understand is that we are social animals. Our biological need is important. But what is more important is a higher need — the need for self-esteem. It is a big deal when another person values you enough to agree to have sex with you. That agreement is an honor and a clear affirmation of your worth as a human being. Implied…
